And if, really, even if this is a book I’ve read.
‘I may be mistaking the contents of the book.’
How can I remember the memories of my past life easily, when the memories from just a few years ago are blurred.
No matter how much I liked a book and read that a dozens of times, I can’t possibly remember all of its contents.
Maybe Aslan wasn’t the male lead, and his wife, me wasn’t an extra who had to leave when the female lead appeared.
When I faced Aslan, who regarded me as his wife, such hope rose.
The hope that maybe I’ll be with him for the rest of my life…….
There were certainly days when that hope was shattered.
For example, when I was told that I did not have to do the Duchess’s job.
[I did not marry you to make you do this.]
He probably started persuading me not to work because we were married on a three-year contract.
[It’s been a long time without the hostess and there’s never been a problem. It’s all thanks to Dalton’s good work. So why don’t you leave it up to him in the future?]
I knew how capable and loyal Dalton was. Also, he did his best by performing the role of hostess for several years without anyone’s notice.
[You have a weak body, so it is better for you to not overdo it. It’s better to stay away from these headaches and spend your time only doing the things you want to do.]
To Aslan, who repeatedly encouraged me with a soft voice , I couldn’t keep insisting that I wanted to do it.
That’s what happened in the first year of our marriage.
From then until now, I am the Duchess of Tordell and also in a way not the real Duchess of Tordell.
It was not possible to respect a duchess who did not have the right to decide the family’s affairs and did not fulfill their responsibilities.
A half piece that only serves its purpose when it is attached to the Duke of Tordell, like an ornament.
Everyone was so talkative about it both inside and outside.
No one regarded me as the true Duchess of Tordell, who had neither responsibility nor rights. Even I wasn’t able to consider myself as one.
I couldn’t tell Aslan that I was fine and wanted to work.
I will not be a part of the Tordell family forever, and will leave in three years. So obviously he won’t be able to entrust me with important family affairs.
I understood everything in my head. So it made me feel even more smaller. Do I really deserve to be by Aslan’s side, or should I leave him quickly?
Whenever a similar thing happened, my self-esteem dropped, and before I knew it, I crouched down and became an idiot person who couldn’t even say what I wanted to say.
Nevertheless, why I have been able to hold on to so far, was ironically because of Aslan’s attitude toward me.
[You don’t have to ask me. You are the Duchess of Tordell.]
He said this as if it were natural.
[All the things that belong to me are yours too, so feel free to use it.]
I was confused.
Whether he really considers me his wife or not.
Can I be greedy to be with him forever, or not.
But when Rosalyn came to the mansion.
The time stopped, and I could see her shining brightly.
This really is a world in the novel I read.
Such a beautiful woman, a woman who gets the attention of the whole world even when she stands still, is the main character of this world.
And standing next to her, Aslan, who is right now my husband… … .
‘They looked good together.’
The scene where Aslan got out of the carriage first and reached out his hand to escort Rosalyn was as beautiful as if a scene from a novel.
And the two who looked at each other seemed like a perfect pair with no room for anyone to interfere.
Staring blankly from behind, I remembered the promise I had made when I signed the marriage contract with Aslan.
‘This is not my place, so when the time is right, I will leave quietly.’
Because the main character must have the role of the main character, and the role of the extra must exist for the extras.
But I never knew it would be today.
It was a familiar voice that grabbed my ankle as I was about to return to my room.
It was not a loud voice, but it was clearly heard by me in the quiet air.
My heart beat fast at the low, heavy, pleasant voice.
Because the owner of the voice is Aslan. And because the guy he called was none other than Rosalyn.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re imagining, but you seem to be mistaken.”
He was saying something to Rosalyn.
Very close to where I was standing, maybe right behind this wall.
Without realizing it, I listened to the voice that came breathlessly.
Aslan, who had been silent for a while, opened his mouth again.
“Yes, I didn’t marry my wife because I loved her.”
My lips opened automatically. The tips of my fingers trembled finely.
There was no reason to be shocked. Because everything he said was true.
That was absolutely right. We didn’t marry because of love. It was something that I knew very well.
Still, the reason why my head hurts as if I had been hit with a hammer is probably because I was wondering why and to whom was he telling it.
Yeah, I think so.
Without realizing it, I moved my body. This was because my heart, which felt as if someone cut it by a sharp blade, kept on urging me to see if it’s really Rosalyn.
As I tilted my head, I saw a man and woman standing tall in a secret space with no one around.
Expectations didn’t go wrong. It was Aslan and Rosalyn who were talking.
Standing close together against the fresh garden, the two really looked good.
Delicate and colorful appearance, two beautiful people like flowers.
It was completely different from Aslan and me, who felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t fit together.
I looked at the two in disarray, feeling a terrible sense of defeat.
My heart ached at the sight of the two lovers who seemed to be close.
And the following words of Aslan made me miserable.
“I just signed a contract with her out of necessity.”
I stopped breathing for a moment.
I don’t know what I just heard. I was confused.
But I realized it instinctively.
‘He’s telling her the truth about our marriage, the contract.’
How did he come to say such a thing?
I thought they weren’t close yet, but in fact, they had become close enough to confide in a secret that we had never told anyone?
I stood still and listened to what he had to say to Rosalyn.
A confused head, as if it had been bombed, made various assumptions.
‘I didn’t hear the previous conversation.’
I didn’t know the context of the conversation. I just overheard their conversation.
‘Maybe I’m misunderstanding something.’
It’s quite possible. I thought so and listened again to Aslan and Rosalyn’s voice, which I couldn’t hear properly.
In retrospect, I should have left then.
My heart has become a mess anyway, so I should have just left without having any vain hopes.
Then I wouldn’t have been sad enough to want to die.
I didn’t know that he would say anything more shocking than this, so I stood there stupidly.
I wanted to know more about his sincerity towards me.
Even though it was a painful truth, I didn’t want to accept it and acted like a fool.
It was pathetic. Trying to sneak a peek at his feelings for me.
I heard Aslan’s voice again in my ear.
“I didn’t know it would last this long. ……It’s annoying.”
His voice exhaled with a sigh was too exhausted to be heard from afar.
So my heart sank as I was eavesdropping.
I grabbed the throbbing chest and exhaled slowly.
Maybe it was because I was so nervous, my nerves stood up and my senses became more sensitive.
I could feel my breathing, my heartbeat, and even the sound of swallowing dry saliva. To the extent that I was worried that I might be heard by those far away.
……I’ll be miserable enough to want to die right away if I get caught eavesdropping on their conversation.
Leaning against the wall to avoid falling down, I nervously focused on the audible sound.
Fortunately, they didn’t seem to know I was here. Seeing that I can’t hear the footsteps approaching me.
It was Rosalyn who cleared the momentary blank in the space where silence fell.
“Oh… … .”
Rosalyn’s voice, as if saddened, pierced my heart.
It was heartbreaking to see that I was a person who could not bring any happiness to Aslan.