Just then, a voice that seemed to die out at any moment called her.
“Hey! Does it hurt a lot?”
She sniffed at her and turned around to see a girl her age with none of her hair left standing. She was skinny, with sunken cheeks, pale as if a layer of flour had been applied to her, but she was a very pretty child.
“Ugh, oh, no…”
She shook her head. The child came closer to her, pushing her sap tray with a worried look on her face.
“Then why are you crying so much?”
“Sorry if it was noisy…”
“No. I also cry often. Is it because you are afraid of dying too?”
At that moment, for some reason, she felt uneasy.
“I’d rather die!”
The child asked in surprise.
“My mom and dad only think that being sick is annoying. My brother and I had the same bone marrow, but he told me to just die. Hehe… I would rather die now.”
She didn’t know why she said that to a child she didn’t even know. And she didn’t know why she said such careless words in the leukemia ward where the shadow of death always hung over them. The child stayed next to her silently wiggling her fingers for a long time before speaking in a very small voice.
“Why… Why can you not live… Are you saying you’re going to die?”
It was a very small voice, but she held her breath.
“As long as you live… you can change the future. Of course, you may not be happy, but… Anyway, you have a chance.”
“I am… don’t even have that chance. The day I leave this hospital room… I mean the day I die, I won’t be able to repay my mom and dad for all their hard work, I won’t be able to see my friends anymore, and I won’t be able to turn 20…”
The child’s pretty eyes were watery.
“I really envy you… do not say that. If you can live, you have to live somehow. Don’t let it end like this…”
The child, who was about to say something more, wiped her eyes with the sleeve of the hospital gown and smiled again.
“If you are alive, then if you try to change the future, things will definitely get better. Cheer up.”
All she could say was that she was sorry for the kid who looked much worse than she was. And a few days later, she had a bone marrow transplant. While she was waiting in the recovery room after receiving her brother’s bone marrow transplant, a nurse came and said.
“Fortunately, there was just one seat in the five-person room, right? I’m making the bed right now, so I’ll wait here a little longer.”
There was no hospitalization room, so she almost went to a double room, but her parents swept their hearts out, saying that it was really fortunate. She also had no idea until then.
However, the hospital room she went back to was the same room she stayed in for a few days, but her seat was changed to that of “the child.”
“Hey, over there! The kid who was here…”
When she wondered where the child was, her mother frowned and patted her on the side.
“It’s better not asking that kind of thing here!”
Only then did she realize that the child had left after a long hospital stay.
“The day I leave this hospital room… It is the day I die.”
Her body trembled as he remembered the voice.
* * *
The moment of her last breath, how much the kid must have envied her when she went to get a bone marrow transplant. How sad it must have been for her to not have any more opportunities. And from then on, she didn’t carelessly mention suicide. Even when she was flooded with thoughts of wanting to die, she couldn’t die because she thought of that child.
‘I already think I want to die, is it too bad? Is it?’
Recalling the face of the child whose name she did not know, she clenched her teeth. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she hurriedly wiped them with her sleeve.
‘I have to persevere. I haven’t done my best yet. I still have a chance.’
She was determined to live a more energetic life.
* * *
When she changed her mind, her life became more relaxed. Probation was a punishment, but for her, a housekeeper, it was just a peaceful break. And it really would have been if Killian hadn’t popped up.
“Please… Should you have come at this hour?”
“Because I don’t have time for it.”
He came just in time for dinner, so she had to sit across from him to eat.
“Ha… is it so? Well, you must be busy. So, what are you here for today?”
He ate the bread and ate the stew without answering her question. The way he was eating was also very picturesque, but she bent her head and openly started a fight.
Even though she called him, he slowly munched his mouth and even glazed over with wine before answering.
“Isn’t it impolite to talk when you have food in your mouth?”
Then he continued eating without a word. In the end, she had no choice but to eat. And it was a wise choice.
The stew was so delicious that she forgot everything she had talked with Killian until recently, and her snort came out. The Duke’s chef was really good. Just the deliciousness of the food made her want to bury the bones of the Ludwig family. In Count Rigelhoff’s family, it seemed that they only fed as much as bird feed to maintain this figure, but perhaps because this world was a romance world, even after coming to the Ludwig family and eating as much as she could, her body did not change.
That was a real fantasy.
“…You eat well.”
“Ugh. It’s really good.”
She answered without even looking at Killian. Now this beef stew was more important than his gracious face. The beef without any fishy smell was chewed softly, and the gravy with the aroma of milk exploded in the mouth. She didn’t know what it’s made from, but the sweet and addictive taste of the roux went fantastically well with the boring meal bread. Just when she felt sorry for the disappearing stew, Killian indifferently pushed a small bowl with a lid in front of her.
Without much thought, she opened the lid of the bowl and found more stew.
“Uh? Why is this in a separate place here?”
“It’s an extra serving in case the food runs out.”
“Ahh… Can I eat this?”
“Shall we share?”
“I am done.”
Then he should stop sighing, and not make people notice.
“Then… thank you for this food.”
She also emptied the stew from the extra plate. Killian quietly watched her eat and muttered as if talking to himself.
“It goes down your throat very well.”
It was kind of quiet. Did the devil’s snout finally start?
“There is no reason not to. Because I’m innocent I didn’t do anything, so why do I have to tremble?”
“I hope you are right. We are currently investigating all other routes that the document could have escaped. As you say… Lise was also the target of investigation. Just because it’s Lise doesn’t mean we are not investigating.”
“Oh, that’s surprising.”
“The investigation is fair to the end, so don’t worry about me being partial.”
She didn’t bother talking because she didn’t want to fight him. He sat there with a serious face, as if he had something more to say, and finally got up without saying anything.
“I will go back for today.”
Come to think of it, it was the first time she had ever sat so close to him for a meal. Thanks to that, the food seemed to have tasted better, and it sounded sad when he said he would leave.
‘Oh hey, this idiot. Anyway, since a handsome man is by my side, I’m out of my mind…’
Compared to last time, it seemed like they treated her like a person, so she guessed she had anticipation without even realizing it.
Killian and she parted ways with an awkward goodbye. After that, all that was left was time.
Of course, it was a very happy thing to roll around on the bed, but it got a bit boring by the third day.
‘Should I enjoy my hobby now?’
Yes, this was the time. Even in her previous life, she liked making and decorating things, but she couldn’t start properly because she always didn’t have money or time. But now things were different!
‘What shall we start with? Embroidery? Knitting?’
Concerned, she called Anna. Anna was the only person she could call and talk to right now.
“Anna, Anna! Do you know what hobbies the ladies from other families enjoy these days?”
“Usually embroidery or painting, active people enjoy horseback riding.”
“Wouldn’t there be something unusual?”
Anna pondered over her bottomless question before she cautiously opened her mouth.
“It’s not a hobby of noble ladies… These days, commoner girls from well-to-do families play with self-made dolls of princes and princesses…”
“Do they make dolls themselves?”
“No. It is to make clothes with rags left over on the wooden doll. Kids from really well-to-do families make and wear pretty fancy clothes. It is a hobby that parents generously allow because it is beneficial for improving sewing skills.”
Was it like changing clothes for a wood doll? I could be fun.
“I want to try that too. Where can I buy a wooden doll?”
“Commoner kids usually ask their dad to make them… If you want to try it, I will place an order directly with the craftsman.”
And… A wooden doll made by their father, how precious it must be. She envied those girls.
Hello there! This is RJR. Thank you very much for reading.
Next post will be released tomorrow.
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4 thoughts on “ITIWACT- CH023”
I swear, my eyes are watering. The girl’s words are truly a precious gift! “Stay strong, don’t give up!”
She must keep those words to heart because I bet she will go through many tribulations!
Thank you so much for the chapter!
Thank you for reading <3
Love it please keep continue
I will for sure ^^